Lifestyle

ALL posh twats wear brightly-coloured trousers. But the colour of the posh twat trousers your posh twat is wearing show you just what type of posh twat he is.

A MAN lacking all toxic, stereotypically male attributes would not mind having just a hint of them, he has admitted.

THROUGHOUT December parents are tasked with moving a sodding elf doll to new locations. Here are five places it always strangely ends up.

YOU'VE befriended a couple who seem slightly too nice. Here’s how to tell if they’re planning to invite you for a threesome.

SPELLING their name in a bizarre way may mask the fact that someone is not that interesting, or it may not. Do you know one of these people?

POST-BREXIT rules could spell the end of French exchange trips for British schoolchildren. Leave voter Wayne Hayes explains why keeping your kids away from the French is for the best.

A MAN is intentionally ruining his day in order to treat himself to takeaway food and booze this evening.

EVERYTHING seems great in retrospect because your memory is flawed. These fond recollections were pretty shit in reality.

THIS year, rather than spend money on the non-sustainable practice of sending Christmas cards, Annabelle and I have agreed to spend the money on drugs.

DO YOU live in a crappy little new-build house on an estate full of them? Find out with our quiz.