Lifestyle

A TOTAL ars*hole has just proclaimed autumn to be his favourite of all the seasons.

A MAN’S retired parents are looking forward to a rest after a punishing day of finding things to do that did not need doing.

A PARTY to reveal the gender of an unborn child is such a horrible, attention-seeking event that even the foetus in question is cringing.

WELCOME to your holiday flat. We hope you have a wonderful stay, though I hope to make that less likely by settling these rules.

GOING to a supermarket at 4am is strangely exciting and edgy even though it is just full of knackered people stacking shelves, it has been confirmed. 

WANT to change your name? Perhaps you’re on the run or just tired of being called Leslie Smallcock? Here’s how to do it without sounding like a tw*t.

Film fans at an outdoor cinema event insisted they had a great time shivering through a film they have all seen several times before.

IT may feel as if your parents are trying to traumatise or actually kill you by taking you to a music festival, but they are just idiots. Here's how to avoid being mentally scarred for life.

THE British summer often means a month’s rain in a day, but how will you claim it isn’t making your British break a nightmare?

A COUPLE inviting people to only the evening bit of their wedding have revealed they just want the place to look busy.