Lifestyle

Stupid eyebrows may be contagious, Britain warned

DOCTORS have warned that an epidemic of horribly heavy comedy eyebrows appears to be spreading across the UK.

Three Toblerones for a tenner 'now the only reason anyone flies'

THE three for £10 Toblerone deal in airport shops is now the only reason anyone flies, experts have confirmed.

Woman's life still crap despite affirmations and visualisation

A WOMAN'S life is still a lot of crap despite affirmations and visualisation, it has been confirmed.

Boyfriend reminded to take photos for 87th time so far today

A WOMAN has once again reminded her boyfriend to take some photos of all the fun they are having so they do not forget it.

The creepy bastard's guide to grooming your body hair

HAIRY all over? Here’s how to groom it and maximise your sinister allure to men and women alike.

Woman on maternity leave has insane business idea

A WOMAN desperate not to go back to work after maternity leave has come up with an utterly insane business idea and actually wants to do it.

Man wearing rucksack on both shoulders

COMMUTERS want to know why a man who gets the same train wears his rucksack on both shoulders.

Discrimination wrong unless it's based on what car you drive

NO-ONE should be discriminated against unless they drive a car that singles them out as an utter w**ker, Britain has agreed.

Woman on deathbed regrets not doing more ironing

AN 88-year-old woman has confessed that her biggest regret is that she did not spend more time ironing clothes.

Couple book babysitter so they can spend whole evening looking at photos of their children

A COUPLE have hired a babysitter so they can spend a rare evening alone together looking at photographs of their kids.