Lifestyle

DO you insist on believing your pet has complex thoughts and feelings, like a person? Try these ways of deluding yourself.

A MAN reading about a celebrity on Wikipedia has skipped over 'Early life' and 'Career' and gone directly to ‘Controversies’.

A MIDDLE  class family has decided to treat itself by going on a day trip to an estate agent’s window.

A WOMAN has confirmed that her natural state of being is eating avocado toast and drinking wine before noon.

A HAIRDRESSER’S hair is inspiring fear rather than confidence in her hair styling abilities. 

DUNGAREES have never been good and they never, ever will be, it has been confirmed.

THE best way to be a really good friend to someone is to say ‘mmm-hmm’ frequently, sincerely and meaningfully while they are talking.

A MAN working in a bong shop is an enormous obstacle to sales of the product and the acceptance of cannabis in general. 

ARE you sad about being quite old? Here are some ways to look younger that might just convince people to knock a few years off your age. 

THE parents of a musically ungifted child have discovered that a violin can sound just as bad as a recorder.