Lifestyle

VIDEO conferencing means it’s easy to feel close to the ones you’re missing. But what about the ones you’re not missing, who are constantly inviting you to hang out online? Here are five fail-safe excuses to dodge them.

ARE you drowning in a sea of panic-bought bog paper and food? Here are some ways to use up your stock of irresponsible purchases.

A WOMAN made it just three days into lockdown before deciding to cut her own hair for entertainment.

CORONAVIRUS is a great opportunity to stop your kids being force-fed leftie propaganda at school. Here fanatical Brexiter Roy Hobbs explains how to homeschool.

YOU can’t leave the house, and it turns out most things are done outside the house. But what can you tick off from your bucket list while alone in the front room?

THE UK’s residents have spent a lovely weekend behaving like stupid, reckless wankers, they have happily confirmed.

IF you’re middle-class and self-isolating, people still need to know that you’re better than them. Here’s how to do it.

A COUPLE who never get off their arses are furious that they are not supposed to go anywhere at the moment.

A WOMAN is unconcerned about running out of loo roll because she has at least 3,000 crumpled receipts in her handbag.

A MAN who spent his morning panic-buying toilet roll will spend his evening with a large group of regulars at his local.