Lifestyle

YOU have accommodated for my every possible need, yet still I whine. Why? The answer is not so simple, human one.

THINK you’re a sophisticated adult? Then how come you still haven’t left behind these things that are clearly meant for young people, you massive overgrown child?

WERE you ever close to being a trendy and popular person or have you always been an awkward loser? Deep down you already know the answer, but double-check with our quiz.

A COUPLE who have not seen their friends for months cannot wait for them to leave so they can stop sitting in the f**king garden.

HAVE you reached the age of realising how stupid you were when young? These decisions, made then, have come back to bite you.

AN angler's quiet day fishing and getting pissed amidst the wonders of nature was completely ruined by catching a huge, smelly, slimy fish.

THE bank holiday weekend probably means some long-awaited outdoor drinks. Here noted twat Ryan Whittaker gives his tips on how to spoil the experience for those around you.

DID you assume you’d be a fully-functioning, grown-up adult by now? Here are the things you thought you’d effortlessly cope with, but can’t.

PREDICTIONS of a Hot Vax Summer of post-Covid shagging are entirely accurate, according to self-proclaimed love monster Josh Hudson.

AS THE prime ministerial concubine, I have exquisite taste in home furnishings. No I will not show you my flat, but I will tell you what’s wrong with yours.