International

THE UK has begun a period of isolation from the rest of the world that is expected to last until approximately the year 2621.

GOEDEMORGEN, I am Geert and I have been sent to welcome you to the Brexit you have for yourselves. Please put your ham in the bin and follow.

DONALD Trump’s Twitter account was deleted this weekend, which he considers the worst outrage of the last seven days. Here’s what he would have tweeted if he could.

THE world cannot believe that all this fuss is being caused over one mumbling, egotistical, incoherent dickhead. 

STILL planning to visit our sworn enemies in Europe? After our no-deal exit, you’ll need to add these key phrases to your linguistic arsenal.

A BREXITER has confirmed that deploying the Royal Navy to fire on French fishermen is absolutely what he voted for in 2016.

INTRIGUED by the mysterious monoliths that have been springing up around the world? Here are the boring places they probably came from.

PRESIDENT Trump has agreed to leave the White House in order to collect a Big Mac meal from a Washington DC drive-thru McDonald’s.

PRESIDENT Trump has conceded that his hair is very slightly thinning on top, but that he will turn the tide with Regaine.

AMERICA - the land of the free, home of the brave, and domain of quite a few idiots. Having finally booted out Donald Trump, here are five other dumb things the US needs to get rid of.