International

THE European Union is close to agreeing a deal to save the single currency with a fresh injection of 200 billion opinions into the thinking system.

COLONEL Gaddafi may have been killed by a bullet that entered a part of his body, the new Libyan government has confirmed.

VICTORIOUS rebel leaders have installed former Two and a Half Men star Charlie Sheen as Libya's interim lunatic, it has been announced.

AS Libyans battle for their bright new dawn concerns were being raised that a new regime could charge more for car juice.

COLONEL Gaddafi has asked Tony Blair if he can stay in his guest room for a while.

MUSCULAR homosexual Russian men have been giving free titillating car washes in support of their beloved Vladimir Putin.

US intellectual Glenn Beck has been urged to keep up the pressure on the victims of the Norway massacre.

GREECE is to be renamed 'Olympikenstaat' following Germany's first successful invasion of the country for more than 70 years.

THE self-help industry has air dropped thousands of books on Ethiopia so that drought victims can manifest abundance from the universe.

A NEW statue of Ronald Reagan will depict the late president forgetting one of the illegal things he did.