WITH Saint David’s Day in full swing, the Welsh have privately admitted their language is not catching on as much as they hoped.
In between their national pastimes of looking at daffodils and wearing leeks, the proud Welsh-speakers of Wales have confessed that their native tongue has failed to spread globally to become the world’s second language as they had originally intended.
Llanelli resident Dafydd Llewellyn said: “They speak English everywhere. Spanish is massive in the US. French is a smash in Canada. Brazil’s wild for Portuguese. Meanwhile Welsh evaporates halfway across the Severn Bridge.
“Okay, it’s not that user-friendly, but it’s hardly Mandarin. We put translations on all our signs, what more do you want? But still people live here for years and only know ‘araf’ and ‘heddlu’.
“Once the English stopped violently repressing it, I had every confidence it’d spread like wildfire and become the dominant language of the whole planet. But no-one even learns it to follow Pobol y Cwm.
“It’s disappointing, I’ll admit that. But I suppose it means we can still use it to call tourists pricks in pubs.”
Nikki Hollis of Chester said: “All those ys and ls? No thanks. The sooner it goes extinct like Cornish, the better.”
