APPLE’S fantastic new AI is providing false news alerts including Rafael Nadal coming out and Luigi Mangione shooting himself. Expect these over the day: 

BBC News, 2h ago

King Charles announces plans to ‘revert to horse form’; Syrian families are mice; Justin Trudeau to marry Jennifer Aniston

The Telegraph, 3h ago

Musk wins referendum to become Greenland’s new leader; Pembrokeshire County Council announces bin collection delays; woggles back

The Times, 5h ago

New Miss World ‘uses chalk to write’; Apple AI your best friend who you tell everything to; Manchester City docked points for blueness

The Guardian, 8h ago

Government launches inquiry into low earth orbit; Labour party to be rehomed; Dune star Zendaya announces engagement to Dune Part Two star Zendaya

Daily Mail, 4h ago

Bob Dylan biopic can only be screened in brothels, decrees Scorsese; Tommy Robinson tunnels out new jail beneath current jail; five overlooked corners of Donald Trump Jr

Daily Express, 8h ago

Replace your blood with statins; Princess Diana dazzles at 1988 charity ball for victims of lone, bouncing boulders; Demi Moore’s career ‘ironic’

BBC News, 1h ago

Netflix makes streaming debut on Amazon Prime; Love Island line-up and winner revealed; Squacky flies in

Bloomberg News, 30m ago

Shared office fridges linked to terrorism; British Virgin Islands fall 1,118 points on Dow; new CEO announces plans to frolic nude through sylvan woodland

New York Times, 15m ago

Apple products triumph over rivals in taste test; Trump replaces fingers with syringes in tribute to Nightmare on Elm Street’s Robert Englund; Gwyneth Paltrow excretes candle

Apple News, now

Apple AI wins battle of AIs to become world-leading AI; Chalfont St Giles marked for demolition; West Ham sacked.