Health

A WOMAN has awoken to discover her nap was a terrible, terrible mistake.

A MAN is horrified to realise he has started making unusual grunting noises whenever he uses a urinal.

YOU'RE keen to get back to your public pool, but don’t forget your hazmat suit. There's still plenty to make you gag.

CLAIMING to have got through lockdown without putting a toe out of line? Apart from these rules, which you broke if you’re being honest.

OVER 40? Keen not to feel like a sack of shit? 44-year-old Martin Bishop details six things that will set you back two days if you even attempt them.

A WOMAN who has just joined 25 million Britons in having her Covid vaccine is mortified she forgot to share her special news on social media.

A SMUG bellend is already back in the gym to give his rippling vanity a workout, he has confirmed.

THE Welsh are getting the Moderna jab while under-30s are advised not to get the AstraZeneca jab. Do you care at this point or would you take anything? Find out with our quiz.

CURIOUS to see what the relentless passage of time looks like? Pick up a mirror and pay attention...

REMEMBER how idiotically optimistic you were a fortnight into this shitstorm, 12 months ago? Remember how unthinkingly you believed these laughable delusions?