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Swapping Piers Morgan for James Corden 'like act of violence', says America

AMERICANS have begged England to stop sending them smug, fat-faced English television presenters.

Viewers who had returned to their televisions after Piers Morgan was sacked, say James Corden’s late-night chat show is like being shot in the leg.

Wayne Hayes, of Phoenix, Arizona, said: “The wobbling jowls, the crooked teeth, that indefinable but repugnant smugness. I dared to believe it was over.

“They told us Morgan was loved in his native land, which turned out to be an exact inversion of the truth, and now you’re doing it again?

“If I’m going to watch pale, sweaty, giant-faced men I would like those men to be Americans.”

Following the appointment of Corden, the CBS network is set to replace talk show host David Letterman with West Ham manager Sam Allardyce.

 

Women somehow not patronised by all advertising

FOR some reason women do not feel utterly patronised by all advertising, researchers have found.

Of the 2,000 women interviewed by the Institute for Studies none felt patronised by the blatant attempt to sell them things by telling them they are always right about everything.

Maureen Spillman, from Peterborough, said: “I don’t think advertisers do it because they think we’re idiots. They do it because they know what it’s like in the real world.”

Advertising executive Martin Bishop said: “The idea that women are right about everything is, of course, ludicrous. But no-one is objecting so we just keep doing it.”

Spillman also said the depiction of groups of women was very realistic, adding: “Me and my friends often meet up to discuss the fat content of yoghurts.

“And often we litter the conversation with double entendres about big, fat cocks.”

 

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