Celebrity

BEING a traitor isn’t the only thing Alan Carr has been lying about. Here is the disturbing truth about one of TV’s most beloved stars.

NO longer Prince Andrew or the Duke of York, the shamed Royal is still called Andrew Mountbatten Windsor. Should these fancy surnames be removed as well?

THEY’VE taken it all away from me. My Princehood, my Dukedom, my HRH. And now I’m completely anonymous. I could be anywhere. I could be in the room with you now.

I SEE Lily has treated the breakdown of our relationship with the respect it deserves, which is to say, by writing a song about my butt plugs. There’s a bit about a vasectomy as well, is there? Great.

CLAUDIA Winkleman and her blonde co-presenter are leaving Strictly Come Dancing and unless they are replaced the BBC is doomed. Who could do it?

CLAUDIA Winkleman and Tess Daly have announced they are leaving Strictly to embark on a no-holds-barred wildly debauched sexual relationship.

THE Royal family can enjoy the privacy they crave as soon as they return their money, art treasures and at least four of their palaces back to the nation.