Celebrity

Beckham drama really punching considering rest of news cycle

BROOKLYN Beckham’s Instagram story is grabbing much more attention than it deserves when the ongoing collapse of the world is taken into account.

Kim Wilde, and other pop stars who'd make a lovely mum

THE Beckham feud reveals having Victoria as a mother isn’t all easy, even when she doesn’t sing. These pop star mothers would be infinitely preferable.

How to voice your wife's complaints as if they were your own, with Brooklyn Peltz Beckham

LIKE many men, I am expert in hearing what my wife says and later, without consultation, voicing all her views as if they were always and forever mine own. Here’s how.

What to do if a loved one is trapped in the cult of Richard Osman

HAS someone close to you been brainwashed into worshipping TV presenter Richard Osman, believing he’s an infallible genius polymath? Here’s how to stage an intervention.

Brooklyn Beckham to be sorry when he gets dumped

BROOKLYN Beckham is lining up a long, long period of regret for himself for when his wife divorces him, observers believe.

Timothée and Kylie: A guide for blokes struggling to see what the problem is

MALE? Perplexed by persistent speculation as to why Timothée Chalamet and Kylie Jenner, two young, attractive, vapid people are dating? Your questions answered.

How to have a Christmas sex party for one, by Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor

I CAN'T say 2025 was a great year, but I'll be doing my best to recreate some of the good times I had back in the day with good old Jeff.

Kick a bastard out of your family, urges King in Christmas address

KING Charles is to instruct the nation to look around at their family, decide who the bastard is and send them into exile in Norfolk.

Five people who are worse than me because they're hypocrites, actually, by Andrew

PORTRAYING me as the world’s worst person is lazy journalism. These people are way worse because they don’t practise what they preach.