Business

Record numbers poncing about in new cars

MORE Britons than ever are driving around in brand new cars like a bunch of total ponces.

Waitrose unveils 23-bird roast

WAITROSE has launched its neighbor-trumping 23-bird Deluxe Roast.

Facebook launches Schadenfreude button

FACEBOOK has launched a feature allowing users to express pleasure when friends post bad news.

Tech giants raise spectre of vinyl and VHS

IF the NSA keeps spying on the internet consumers will return to vinyl records and films on tape, massive companies have warned.

83% of Monocle readers still live with their mum

MOST people who read Monocle magazine are still based in their childhood bedroom, it has emerged.

Stop calling it your money, says RBS

THE Royal Bank of Scotland has reminded customers that 'their' money is actually its money.

Dentists hail return of Saab

DENTAL surgeons are excited at the prospect of being able to buy Saab cars again.

Undercover reporters messing up your Amazon order

THOUSANDS of Amazon orders will be incorrect because its warehouses are mostly staffed by undercover journalists.

Payday lenders to sell electricity instead

PAYDAY lenders are to switch from 4,000% loans to selling deliciously expensive electricity.

Co-op customers happy their bank is still different

CO-OP account holders have praised their bank for continuing to be very, very different indeed.