Business

SIR Philip Green made employees sign non-disclosure agreements to stop everyone finding out what a big-hearted softie he is, he has confessed.

IN a moving ceremony, the last person who shops at Currys these days was committed to the ground in a mediocre fridge-freezer.

A DOG-OWNED analytics company has been selling information gained by sniffing other dogs’ arses, it has emerged.

A SMALL business is staffed entirely by f**king morons who cannot understand why everything takes ages, it has emerged.

HOUSE of Fraser is to cease the 'economically suicidal' practice of giving customers goods when they pay for them, it has confirmed. 

JOHN Lewis is beginning to wonder if its prices may be much, much higher than its rivals after years of wilful ignorance.

TUBS of Heroes and Celebrations have been placed right by the entrance of every supermarket just in case you fancy them for whatever reason, say retailers.

A PUB has revamped its smoking area by adding walls, a roof and a bar selling beer.

SUPERMARKETS are stocking up on strange, exotic ingredients for first-year students who have never had to feed themselves before.

A FRIENDLY email reminder is actually quite hostile, it has emerged.