Business

Retailers launch F**k You, We're Jacking The Price Right Up Tuesday

AFTER Black Friday and Cyber Monday, today sees the launch of a new retail event where prices are brought right back up to meet Q4 profit targets.

UK's traditional travelling milkshake salesmen dreading budget

MEMBERS of the country’s proud travelling milkshake trading community are not looking forward to today’s budget announcements, they have confirmed.

Vets, hairdressers, and other bastards who only tell you the price when it's too late

COMPETITION watchdogs are to make vets publish price lists, because they along with these bastards have been getting away with it for far too long.

Petrol still most reasonably-priced thing at service stations

DESPITE rising petrol prices it remains the only item at motorway service stations an average family can reasonably afford.

Fentimans, and five other brands that are the same bollocks dressed up in twee packaging

THE brands we buy are a reflection of our identity so in purchasing these, you’re admitting you’re a credulous ponce who’ll pay over the odds for bullshit.

Your imbecilic, half-witted and frankly bigoted ideas for the UK's new banknotes

THE Bank of England, learning nothing from Boaty McBoatface, invited the public to send in ideas for a major redesign of banknotes. This is why they wish they hadn’t.

Geekification of British men almost complete, announces Games Workshop

GAMES Workshop has announced its profits are up by a third and its transformation of Britain into a nation of geeks nears completion.