Arts & Entertainment

A WOMAN at Glastonbury is counting down the seconds until the festival ends and she can start banging on about it to everyone. 

BRITAIN’S men are worried that the renewed popularity of Kate Bush will lead to girlfriends becoming annoyingly otherworldly with an interest in billowy clothes.

MANY songs are heartfelt tributes to people who’ve inspired you. But what if the losers in your life only inspire boredom and indifference? These tunes all become a bit irrelevant…

WHEN Morrissey went UKIP many were hurt. When Right Said Fred went right-wing Twitter conspiracists nobody gave a shit. Nor would they if these flipped.

TEA on the lawn, cheeky Cockney characters, and the prime minister living in a thatched cottage in Trafalgar Square. These films f**ked up at portraying Britain:

BEFORE you met your partner you had select, refined viewing tastes, until they got you obsessed with this total shit:

WANT to find out if someone is an absolute bellend? Ask them who their heroes are. If any of these are on the list, you’ll know for sure.

ALTHOUGH people who live in London are obsessed with telling you how amazing it is, there are plenty of places in it that are beneath them. Like these.

A VETERAN of Britain’s bloody culture wars is holding a two minutes’ silence for the TV shows which fell to the onslaughts of the woke.

MIDDLE CLASS? Thinking of lying back and treating yourself to a bit of a strum? Here are six social-status-suitable self-abuse scenarios.