Arts & Entertainment

HAS Succession entirely passed you by because you were too cheap to pay for it? Don’t worry, here’s a potted guide to all the best streaming shows so you can imagine them for free.

ROUND at your parents’ when your mother innocently starts joining in with a suggestive pop song? Here are some sexy mum classics to make you want to curl up and die.

SOME films have soundtracks that add to their brilliance, while some are made worse by having shit theme songs. Like these.

IN the olden days you’d do this freaky thing of just watching a TV programme you were interested in. Now you do all of this before even thinking about turning the telly on.

YOU went to a gig to see the band perform the songs, not point the mic at the pissed-up, tuneless audience. Here are other ways they ruin their own gigs:

A ZELDA-PLAYING 16-year-old has constructed a wood-and-stone fire-ejaculating penis that is the most impressive in all Hyrule.

HEAVY metal and Satanism go together like virgins and drinking blood. But did artists really think it through when allying themselves with a powerful entity of pure evil? Possibly not.

THE English language has the largest vocabulary in the world, but the favourite words of demure Countdown lexicographer Susie Dent are the ones you'd least expect. Such as these:

INDIANA Jones is the age of your grandad and able to perform many of the same thrilling stunts. Marvel during Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny as he successfully picks up the dog’s ball.

COUNTLESS ropey old TV shows are now regarded as classics on the basis of a hot star or stars. Under no circumstances suggest that these were actually a bit shit.