Arts & Entertainment
RAP music recently turned 50, and so did many of its fans. Here are five iconic tracks all middle-aged men can do a strangely-accented version of.
IT has come to my attention that despite my concerts, my vinyl and my merch some of you have not yet exhausted your parents’ resources. I have a new film out.
ALIEN life forms could be silicon-based, impossibly vast, or AI. It is statistically improbable we would find them attractive, which did not trouble the creators of these sci-fi babes.
NIGHTCLUBS do not tend to play theme tunes from kids' TV shows, but if they did these would raise the roof.
A MAN asked on a cinema trip is seething at the very prospect of those he would have to sit near and what they would be loudly eating.
THEY released a solitary half-decent song, so why the f**k did you worship these Britpop chancers? It’s unlikely you’ll be attending their tragic reunion tours to find out…
FANTASISING about sex with celebrities is bound to be ‘problematic’ these days, which is bad news for Gen Z. But it’s probably okay if you keep things as woke as possible. Like this.
MUSICIANS love using their cushy jobs to give you a condescending telling-off. Like these artists who are so much morally better than you, the twats.
BEFORE sci-fi went massive with Star Wars, male youngsters read World War 2 comics. And while they were pretty xenophobic they taught you a lot, even if it was wrong. Like these things.
PEOPLE who write stuff, who are just about the coolest and most deserving demographic out there according to other people who write stuff, have ended their strike.