Arts & Entertainment

SIR David Attenborough said 'fuck this' last night after Strictly Come Dancing became the most popular television programme in the world.

ALL Gary Glitter songs are to be electronically tagged and made to sign the sex offenders' register.

BRITAIN recoiled in horror last night as the BT broadband couple took their first tentative steps towards reconciliation.

THE BBC last night re-established its reputation for quality programming as it unveiled a lavish multi-million pound drama based on the taunting of Andrew Sachs.

THE BBC is under fire for defiling the white race and encouraging intimacy with people of colour.

COUNTDOWN is to outsource its numbers round to India following major budget cuts by Channel Four.

MILLIONS of viewers have contacted British Telecom urging them to end the pathetic relationship at the heart of their long-running series of TV adverts.

HOLLYWOOD'S A-list has gathered in New York for the premiere of the latest Batman film not to feature the Batusi.

THE Jeremy Kyle show has been censured by the television watchdog Ofcom for broadcasting a Scotsman during a daytime programme. 

BRITAIN was absolutely bursting with excitement last night at the prospect of going to see Mamma Mia this weekend.