Arts & Entertainment

MARY Berry has congratulated the hosts of Channel 4’s Great British Bake Off for betraying everything baking stands for.

A MAN has blamed a hangover for making him cry at a repeat of animated comedy film Despicable Me.

FANS of Game of Thrones have begun watching some 13-year-old boys playing Dungeons & Dragons.

ANGRY Doctor Who fans have condemned the programme after realising it is total bollocks.

A NEW science fiction series is set in an alternate reality where Donald Trump is a wise and kind leader of humanity.

A MIDDLE-AGED music fan who insisted that anyone claiming to enjoy rap music is lying has finally accepted some of them must be genuine.

DUBSTEP – the music that sounds like a fat horse falling down a well – never occurred, everyone has agreed.

THE best way to impress girls is to claim to have survived one of Britain’s many completely disastrous music festivals, men believe.

THE Scottish Conservative Party has announced that they will hold a Tory T In The Park to rival Tory Glastonbury.

FEARS are growing for Paul McCartney who is now 16 hours into an acoustic version of Hey Jude and appears unable to prevent another chorus.