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Science fiction series set in parallel world where Trump is a good human being

A NEW science fiction series is set in an alternate reality where Donald Trump is a wise and kind leader of humanity.

Forthcoming Netflix series Donald is set in a parallel universe where the president of America is not an absolute sack of cocks.

Stories will show Trump’s fictional alter ego, played by Tom Baker, responding to national and global emergencies in a calm, intelligent way that inspires respect.

Writer Wayne Hayes said: “Imagine a world where Trump didn’t feel conflicted about racists, where instead of constantly lying and talking shit he governed with a true sense of moral authority.

“We’re going to show ‘alternate reality Trump’ making good decisions, displaying empathy and surrounding himself with sane people who don’t look like they eat toads out of jars.

American Joanna Kramer said: “I am quite prepared to accept zombies or that other nonsense about the town that’s under some sort of magic dome, but when these series become too unrealistic I lose interest.”

No one sure how to tell couple all their baby names are ridiculous

FRIENDS of an expectant couple are unsure how to tell them that all their baby names are utterly absurd.

Tom Logan and Nikki Hollis’ shortlist of dreadful names for a boy or a girl have made their friends feel they should intervene before the child is condemned to a lifetime of ridicule.

Friend Martin Bishop said: “Tom and Nikki have got all these awful names like Otto, Scheherazade and Polonius. If no one says anything that kid’s fucked.

“It’s difficult to say anything though because that will imply they’re social-climbing idiots, although that’s a fair description of people who think Horatio is a good name for a child going to a comprehensive.

“I think my only option is to start putting anonymous messages through their letterbox like a blackmailer saying ‘DO NOT CALL YOUR CHILD MAEVE’.”

Fellow friend Emma Bradford said: “Nikki and Tom don’t understand that names have associations and you can’t just call a child ‘Fred’ without people thinking of the Freds Flintstone, Dibnah and West.

“I’ve tried dropping hints like saying ‘Half the kids in Britain seem to have Irish names these days!, but that just made them add Murphy, Clodagh and Padraig to their list.

“Also I heard Nikki saying the name Adolf was ‘really different’.”

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