Sport

NORTH Koreans were celebrating last night after their team's long-predicted 8-0 thrashing of decadent capitalist Brazil.

FIFA was banned from its own World Cup last night after giving millions of pounds worth of publicity to an unofficial product.

MANUFACTURERS of shoddy effigies that are hung outside scary pubs last night said they were desperate for John Terry to make England's next catastrophic error.

MANUFACTURERS of shoddy effigies that are hung outside scary pubs last night said they were desperate for John Terry to make England's next catastrophic error.

By Tony SopranoSO I was in the Bing the other day with the guys - Paulie, Silv and that fat fuck Bobby. We started talkin' about what team's gonna win this fuckin' World Series Cup they're playing over in South Africa. Anyways, Christopher walks in with a box of Cannoli...

By Tony SopranoSO I was in the Bing the other day with the guys - Paulie, Silv and that fat fuck Bobby. We started talkin' about what team's gonna win this fuckin' World Series Cup they're playing over in South Africa. Anyways, Christopher walks in with a box of Cannoli...

A LOCAL community has been banned from painting an England flag on the side of a building just because they want to use the blood of dead Argentinians for the red bits.

A LOCAL community has been banned from painting an England flag on the side of a building just because they want to use the blood of dead Argentinians for the red bits.

THE owners of Manchester United are to pay down their debts by making Rio Ferdinand do a fan dance for some Chinese opium lords.

CELEBRATIONS marking the departure of Rafael Benitez have been spotted by astronauts on board the International Space Station.