Sport Headlines

WAYNE Rooney has recruited David Nalbandian to give him tips on lashing out ahead of Tuesday’s match against Ukraine.

FOOTBALL cameramen have asked for more pay to continue filming attractive female spectators.

PAUNCHY company director and Olympic sponsor Stephen Malley is the world's fastest sprinter, it has emerged.

PREMIER League football is in some way linked with lots of money, internet sleuths have claimed.

RECENT extreme weather proves that the Almighty sees cricket as a abomination, it has been claimed.

FRESHLY-CONDEMNED England manager Roy Hodgson is to name a Euro 2012 squad of 23 players including young Sarah’s lad.

SEVERAL Premier League chairmen have expressed an interest in manager Delio Rossi's player-punching talents.

AUTHORITIES in Manchester have warned of an unprecedented level of bollocks.

THE wretched life of Roy Hodgson has finally hit rock bottom with his appointment as England manager.

NEXT week's Manchester derby has been cancelled in favour of a titanic psychic battle between the two managers.