Politics

I DESPERATELY need to appeal to working class voters, but they can easily become aggressive. Here’s how I win the trust of these unpredictable creatures.

CAN’T keep up with the huge number of government scandals? Don’t worry, here are today’s acts of parliamentary misconduct that the Tories won’t be accountable for.

WITH the likes of Piers Corbyn, Laurence Fox and Shaun Bailey wanting to be mayor, are there other candidates of a similarly low calibre who could run our capital’s affairs? 

DID you have a rival at school? Have you continued your competition into adulthood? Has it effectively destroyed a country?

RENEWED violence in Northern Ireland is a worrying development. Luckily Leave voter Roy Hobbs is here to offer his typically simplistic Brexiter solutions to the problem. 

RACISM is no longer a problem in the UK, thanks to a government report. So what other contemporary issues could be eradicated with some dubious research? 

FOR four years, Boris Johnson was everything to me. I adored him and believed all his wild promises. But now I realise I was just being used.

GIVING NHS nurses a decent pay rise is the latest in Scotland’s long line of nefarious plans. Here’s how the diabolical scheme will play out.

RISHI here, the Robin to Boris’s Batman. And I’m battling on behalf of you, the workers desperate to go back to the office. Here’s why: 

ARE you an ardent ‘flag shagger’ who’d like to literally have sexual intercourse with a Union Jack? Here’s how to go about it if you’re a patriotic weirdo or a Tory MP.