Politics
Cuts are my porn, says Osborne
CHANCELLOR George Osborne has revealed that reducing the size of government is a hugely erotic experience.
Miliband touching cloth
FALLING unemployment and signs of economic recovery have left Ed Miliband dangerously close to self-befoulment.
Bilderberg Group meets to decide next season's hemlines
THE all-powerful Bilderberg Group has met to decide whether the puffball skirt will make a comeback in autumn.
Bring back Judy Blume, says Michael Gove
PUPILS should be encouraged to read Judy Blume's classic teen novels about tender sexual awakenings, according to Michael Gove.
Duncan Smith denies affair with jackal
IAIN Duncan Smith has denied trying to impregnate a young jackal.