Politics

FORMER foreign secretary Jack Straw has revealed the precise extent to which he is a self-regarding, cowardly little turd.

THE Labour leader's computer skills are light years ahead of David Cameron's, it has emerged.

Whilst on duty at *** tonight (Wed 19th Sept) on a 1400-2200 hrs between the hours of 1800-2000 I had to deal with a man on a bike claiming to be Wolverine from the X-Men.

NICK Clegg has denied being sidelined by the government after becoming Minister for Paranormal Investigations.

WITH opinion polls placing UKIP as the UK’s third most popular political party, their leader Nigel Farage has hastily made up some policies over dinner.

THE Liberal Democrats are to join forces with the Flat Earth Society after the two groups double-booked a function room in Brighton.

GOVERNMENT chief whip Andrew Mitchell is a serial abuser of public servants, it has emerged.

LIB DEM leader Nick Clegg has succeeded in believing the sincerity of his own apology.

MITT Romney’s presidential campaign suffered a blow today as footage emerged of him calling for the deportation of relatively short people.

NICK Clegg has apologised for having a moral viewpoint on something.