Politics

RISHI Sunak has asserted that his last five years in government, covering his time as chancellor and prime minister, do not count because his fingers were crossed.

THERE’S one thing this general election is a bit light on: huge twats. That’s why I’ve decided to return to the fray.

KEMI Badenoch believes the Conservatives should be congratulated for waiting until the second week of their campaign before leveraging the trans issue.

KEIR Starmer has made the baffling choice to purge leftwing Labour candidates this week over something as trivial as liking a tweet. But who should be next to go?

MANY Gen Zers will be voting for the first time on 4 July and earnestly droning on about how important it is. Make sure you piss on their youthful enthusiasm with these important facts. 

THE prime minister has pledged to replace ‘rip-off degrees’ with high-skilled apprenticeships if he wins the election. Is it a good idea?

THE police have dropped their probe into Angela Rayner’s council house, but that doesn’t mean she’s off the hook. These five smear campaigns will hit her any day now.

A PENSIONER who was unsure if he was going to vote Conservative has been won over by the prospect of young people getting riddled with bullets.