Politics

THE prime minister has contacted Parliament with an innovative and fresh idea of how to take Brexit forward that she would just love them to consider.

SENIOR Conservatives have regretfully realised a referendum on capital punishment would probably have served the same purpose as Brexit.

A NO-DEAL Brexit will be a doddle because a Tory MP with a balloon for a head has served in the Territorial Army, it has been confirmed.  

A PLANNED Brexit Mount Rushmore to be carved into the white cliffs of Dover will feature Nigel Farage, Elizabeth Hurley, Jim Davidson and Ian Botham.

THE Brexit march has reached an imaginary Brexit town where all their dreams about leaving the EU have come true.  

ARE you a Leaver who’s finally realising Brexit could come crashing down on you? Here’s how to pretend everything's fine.

THE UK has sworn to the EU it will definitely take this chance to sort itself out before doing a shitload of nationalism in the bogs.

THERESA May has been stockpiling toilet roll during her latest trip to Brussels.

JEREMY Corbyn has admitted he walked out of a meeting last night because he saw Chuka Umunna, who he also sees looming from every shadow.

YOU may have voted for Brexit, but that’s no reason not to stock up on vital supplies. Here’s what every gammon should be buying.