Politics

WE’RE going to be a ‘can do’, optimistic nation, according to Boris. But have you got what it takes to make Britain great again, or are you a treacherous doubting weasel? Answer these questions.

BORIS Johnson has replaced the entire cabinet with fanatical Brexiters who have sworn a blood oath of loyalty to him. What the f*ck and who the f*ck? 

ARE you the sort of dense or uninformed voter who still thinks Boris Johnson will be a really good prime minister? Read our guide to what sort of gormless Boris fan you are.

THERESA May is to formally resign as prime minister then run shrieking like a banshee through 80 miles of wheat, it has emerged.

BORIS Johnson is Britain’s prime minister, and the first 24 hours of his premiership are crucial. But how will he spend them?

BORIS Johnson is giving serious consideration to chatting up the Queen with an eye to giving her one, he has confessed.

IAIN Duncan Smith is to return to government as the Secretary of State for Creeping Up Behind You.

THE Queen has told Theresa May that her useless do-nothing sons would be better at running Britain.

THE UK has handed in its resignation because it is not prepared to work under Boris Johnson as prime minister, it has confirmed.

AN organisation of elderly fascists known as ‘the Tory grassroots’ is to install a megalomaniac man-child as ruler of the UK.