Politics

NO-DEAL Brexiters claim that after October 31st life will be a jolly self-sufficient romp growing vegetables, keeping pigs and having it off with Felicity Kendal.

THE Liberal Democrats are making a comeback by once again sounding reasonable and sane compared to everyone else. Here’s how to justify your instinctive loathing.

BORIS Johnson is to put Angela Merkel at her ease with a solid five minutes of Nazi jokes at today’s meeting, he has confirmed. 

WHETHER you’re the prime minister or an ordinary Leaver, it’s time to start blaming other people for Brexit. Here’s how to try and shift the blame.

BREXITERS will be delighted by plans to end freedom of movement, but have you thought it through properly? Read our guide on the slim off-chance you haven’t. 

NIGEL Farage labelled the Queen Mother an 'overweight, chain smoking gin drinker' without realising that describes most of Britain and 95  percent of his own party.

WITH Boris Johnson and Carrie Symonds now properly moved in to Downing Street, the couple reveal how they spend charming Tory evenings together.

ARE you unsure who the mysterious political svengali Dominic Cummings is? Here’s everything you need to know about the man who appears to be running Britain.

THE prime minister’s has declared that he would marry Wales, f**k Northern Ireland and kill Scotland.

DEAR householder, this leaflet outlines the various preparations that British citizens should make for a No-Deal Brexit. Page 24 unfolds into a free human remains pouch.