War

WOMEN should not be allowed in the SAS, according to men who read books about the SAS and only about the SAS.

DONALD  Trump has impressed the international community by managing to make threatening a pre-emptive nuclear strike seem comparatively reasonable.

A SOLDIER sleeping rough is either deep undercover or a victim of official neglect, it has emerged. 

THERESA May has assured Britain that she is absolutely, definitely not a pacifist.

A GOOD solid war would do away with many of the ills of modern society, according to an 55-year-old office manager who weighs 18 stone.

THE Earth has confirmed that it always saw itself going out in an argument about penis size between two idiots with f**ked-up hair.

ANYONE fleeing Syria because of US airstrikes is not a refugee but a terrorist, the US has confirmed.

A LISTENING device has been discovered hidden inside a prawn at a Spanish restaurant.

EXPERTS who stressed the historic link between populism and the threat of war have told everyone to go fuck themselves.

DEFINING what Brexit actually means will only strengthen the forces of The Hun, Theresa May has warned.