War

President Biden has declared war on Texas, vowing to remove its regime of medieval tyranny.

IMAGINE fleeing your home in terror, not knowing if you’ll see your loved ones again. But also imagine a load of foreigners living next door, speaking funny and cooking smelly food.

THE city of Newcastle has assembled an army to march north and annexe Edinburgh while it is dukeless and defenceless.

THE government is struggling and clearly fancies a nice patriotic voter-rallying war. Who should we invade to restore our national pride?

RUDDY-FACED patriots obsessed with the war are appalled to see you are not wearing a poppy yet and want to know why.

THE Queen has delivered an emotional speech to the nation about the immense joy she and her country felt on f**king the Nazis right up. 

BABY boomers have confirmed they love Nazis, Spitfires and the Blitz in the same way everyone else enjoys Star Wars.

A 49-YEAR-OLD Reform UK voter has justified saying ‘we’ won World War Two by claiming he remembers the fighting from inside his grandfather’s left bollock.

THE two opposing forces in Britain’s seaside towns have agreed a bloody showdown to sort out who is boss once and for all.

THE spiders living in a suburban house have broken their truce with the human co-occupants by entering the forbidden zone of the bedroom.