Society

THE public has been told not to panic-buy petrol, so of course that’s exactly what it’s doing. Here’s how to purchase fuel like a hoarding twat.

THE driver of a BMW X7 SUV has signalled his willingness to trade sex for petrol effective ongoing, his colleagues have confirmed.

YOU scrounging paupers have had it too easy for too long. Here's what we, the government, will be taking away from you this month.

TEENS will wear any old shit if you say it's vintage. Here are five items of clothing you can flog to the idiot young.

A MAN who is not an irredeemably awful arsehole is being praised as a 'woke' progressive.

Julian Cook, Audi-driver and all round car expert, gives you his take on the rules of the road.

CHILDHOOD was an idyllic, carefree time where everything was wonderful. Or was it? Here are five lies your brain tells you about it.

TESLAS are ludicrously expensive, so why not try a more cost-effective way to highlight how much of a twat you are?

READY for the return of the shortages and inflation of the 1970s? Don’t worry, the Tories won’t offer us these comforts...

A CREDULOUS loser of a student has signed up to all the societies at his university’s Freshers’ Fair.