TESLAS are ludicrously expensive, so why not try a more cost-effective way to highlight how much of a twat you are?
Whisky
A fun way to alienate all around you is by becoming a massive ponce about whisky. Learning the difference between single malts and blends is a great way for twats to combine two of their favourite hobbies: getting pissed, and pedantically lecturing people about a dull subject.
Chinos
There is no more efficient way of letting the world know you’re a full-time prick than by picking yourself up some red chinos. Get yourself that ‘gammon at a yacht club’ vibe to really indicate to people that you are fundamentally awful to be around.
Flash watches
If you are looking to find out the time, you could either check your phone or purchase the cheapest watch available, which will be roughly £10. If you would like to indicate that you are an annoying as f**k person with more money than sense, spend several thousands of pounds on buying a jewel-encrusted clock to strap to your wrist.
Join a golf club
Golf clubs serve an incredibly important social function. They exert a gravity which draws in all pricks in a given area, allowing everyone else some brief respite while tedious arseholes pummel a small ball around a field. Saying you’re a member of a golf club is a great way to let people know they should avoid you.
Be a bellend in a Nissan Leaf
If you’re really committed to the idea of buying an electric car, why not simply be an arsehole in a Nissan Leaf? You’ll save yourself £20,000, and you can just drive it like an idiot. You could even use some of the money left over to have ‘Driven by a massive twat’ written on the side.
