Society

GIVING your parents the usual cursory weekly phone call? Here's some of the mind-numbingly tedious local gossip your father will fill you in on.

DO you think every situation will result in you getting laid? You may be watching too much porn. Here are five harmless real world scenarios forever tainted by it.

THE rail strikes will be hugely inconvenient, but for Guardian readers disagreeing with the principle of industrial action is deeply awkward. Here Carolyn Ryan explains how to be positive about the hassle. 

OTHER countries have interesting history. In Britain, the best you get is a man in a crown dying in a muddy field in Leicestershire.

EVER thought that the beautiful get all the perks? Not entirely. These five things that make being plain and unappealing worthwhile.

HAVING heard the word 'jubilee' so much over the last few days, the public agrees it no longer knows if it is real or not.

TO you it may just be a four-day bender, but to loyal Britons it’s a magnificent celebration of our beloved monarch. So how will you be letting the kingdom down over the Jubilee weekend? 

BRITAIN has been sliding towards a gloom-ridden dystopia over the last 70 years and the Queen has done nothing to stop it. Here's how it unfolded.

WE’VE got four days of Queen-based nonsense to get through, so you’d better crack open a bottle immediately. Here are the horrors it will help you blot out.

THERE’S a full week of Platinum Jubilee bollocks ahead, and it gets worse from today onwards. This is how it’s going to go.