Society

FIVE days after Carol Vorderman's apprearance on Question Time, millions of people across Britain were last night still trying to make sense of the experience.

EVERY crocodile owner in the UK will have to take out insurance under government plans to tackle 12 foot long killing machines with jaws of steel.

THE number of people paying hush money to their wheelie bins has increased by 60 percent in the last 12 months, it emerged last night.

GORDON Brown last night added the size of chip shop chips to his list of things to dick about with.

AS prices drop to just £2 per line, cocaine has topped a consumer poll as Britain's best-value street drug.

CHURCH of England vicars will bless gay couples as long as they are allowed to quote Bible passages about them being abominations who must be put to death.

NETWORK problems with the PS3 console have left thousands of level three wizard-knights desperately seeking news from the sacred sky lands of Asgharoth.

MARRYING a woman who shares your hopes and dreams is still nowhere near as good as Predator, according to a new survey.

A LARGE, terrifying dragon is threatening the magical kingdom of massive pensions where no-one ever gets fired.

THE BBC last night defended a new series that hopes to find the best new under 14 pole dancer in Britain.