Society
Britain in Bloom to include cannabis plants
BRITAIN'S biggest horticultural campaign has introduced an award for Best Grow Room.
Comic Relief money spent on assassins
ALL of the £76M raised on Red Nose Day will be used to hire a crack team of killers, Comic Relief confirmed.
Pope warns against compassion
POPE Francis has urged Catholics not to waste their valuable time on caring.
Pot Noodle nostalgia misplaced
THE return of Pot Noodle manufacturing to the UK has reminded the public they are shit.
Britain gets 24-hour music amnesty
FANS of unforgivable shit have been given a chance to hand in their CDs.
'Mum hair' actually designed to ward off men
MIDDLE-AGED mothers get that 'interesting' short haircut so men will leave them alone, it has been confirmed.
Parents working just to avoid their kids
THE high cost of child care means that most parents only work to avoid their kids, it has emerged.
Sad losers thrilled by new Lamborghini
THE sort of men who will never even own a car have been thrilled by the new Lamborghini Veneno.