Society

GULLIBLE people are to receive yet another compensation payment after taking out insultingly worthless credit card insurance.

PEOPLE who booked Friday off work are cackling like maniacs at the success of their scheme.

EXAM results are less important than social factors beyond your control, teenagers have been reassured.

THE Guardian has destroyed nauseatingly middle-class articles about garden furniture and teenagers failing to get a place at Oxford.

ANYONE who can't get a mortgage may as well kill themselves, according to a new survey.

EVERYONE assumes car alarms are just going off for no reason, it has emerged.

GETTING a degree is a complete waste of time, according to people full of regret about not going to university.

CHILDREN are an elaborate scam created by retailers and costing an average of £150,000.

THE government is to reduce youth unemployment by making pretending to be hard an actual job.