Society

Unemployment falls as IDS opens pie shop

A FALL in unemployment may be connected to Iain Duncan Smith’s new pie shop in central London.

Could we be owned by normal people? ask cats

CATS have asked for a change in policy so they can be owned by people who are not weird.

Man not sure if Big Issue seller was being arsey

A MAN has revealed he has no idea if his usual Big Issue seller was being sarcastic with him.

Lads and feminists work together on campus sexism

BOORISH lads and militant feminists have joined forces to make sexism at university a far bigger issue than it actually is.

Charlie Bucket's grandpa charged with DLA fraud

CHARLIE Bucket's Grandpa Joe has been charged with fraudulent benefit claims dating back more than two decades.

Today to feel like Wednesday

THE whole of Monday is to feel deceptively like a Wednesday, forecasters have warned.

Beard to divorce owner

A FIVE-year-old beard has sought a divorce from his 28-year-old London-based owner.

University freshers definitely friends for life

A GROUP of first-year students at the University of Leeds have formed a bond that will last decades.

Spelling defunct

SPELLING words correctly no longer matters to anyone, it has emerged.

Sunderland pub named Britain’s best for fighting

THE Mermaid’s Head, a no-frills Wearside boozer that specialises in delivering a proper hiding, has been named the nation’s best fighting pub by The Guardian.