Society

PEOPLE with t-shirts, tote bags or Twitter bios that say 'Sarf London' have failed to grasp how cockneys talk, it has been claimed.

MEN are unable to have long hair without becoming preening narcissists, it has emerged.

ALL trials are to take place on place on Twitter in order to save money.

THE city of Manchester is to cover all pavements, walls and street furniture with metal spikes to stop locals getting soft.

THE once-popular pastime of staring into the distance for minutes at a time is back in fashion thanks to Wolf Hall and Broadchurch.

WOMEN across Britain are to endure a Valentine’s date because it is in a restaurant.

A MAN'S bi-monthly conversation with his barber was word-for-word the same as the one two months ago.

FRIDAY the 13th, supposedly the unluckiest day in the calendar, remains some distance better than any Monday according to researchers.

WOMEN have been asked to stop dicking about with their eyebrows because it looks ridiculous.

PEOPLE who have three or more children do so because they enjoy living in squalid and disgusting conditions, it has emerged.