Society

THE parents of 25-year-old Nathan Muir are celebrating their son’s decision to abandon his band for a job in a bank.

43-YEAR-OLD Tom Booker’s cleaning regime is repeatedly applying to a TV series where strangers come and sort it out.

THE next individual to describe themselves as ‘loving’ this or that can be punched squarely in the face, the government has confirmed.

RURAL villages that mark Halloween with funny old-fashioned ceremonies always kill someone at the end, it has emerged.

THE Daily Mail has welcomed a poll which shows just how incredibly wrong British people are about levels of immigration.

BRITAIN’S middle class people are sick of having to stay in cold, draughty old cottages whenever they go on holiday.

THE UK's children have increased their price for not being little bastards during half-term.

UNEMPLOYED Wayne Hayes is under the impression that 12 emails a day is a lot.

BRITAIN is to dig a tunnel through the Pennines because it was unable to come up with anything else.

TRIPS to bowling alleys are always organised by men who want to show off, it has emerged.