Society

THE Oxford English Dictionary has declared the ‘tears of joy emoji’ as Word of the Year before telling Britain to go f**k itself.

THE best place for the ‘Northern Powerhouse’ scheme is probably in London after all, the government has announced.

AMATEUR runners have their own rigid class system, it has emerged.

THERE is a high probability that the decadent western lifestyle will be maintained, it has emerged.

A HIPSTER riding an old bicycle through London has been judged the coolest motherf**ker in history.

A MAN is taking legal action after colleagues failed to reassure him when he joked about everything being in black and white when he was young.

A LOCAL hard person with a moustache has aggressively confirmed that he has never heard of Movember.

A MAN decided not to tip a waiter purely because he looks like Blur bassist Alex James, it has emerged.

A WOMAN has created a slick home office in which her plans to become self-employed are likely to fail.

MARKETING executives at a snack foods company have decided that today’s two-minute silence does not apply to them.