Society

BRITONS are preparing for air strikes in Syria with a short, non-committal discussion at work.

A MAN who gave an insulting weight-based card to a tough coach driver is currently pinned against a wall.

IT IS too early to put up your Christmas tree, according to those who believe they can dictate what you do in the privacy of your own f**king house.

A COUPLE have decided to just leave their kitchen as it is.

WORN-DOWN parents have purchased a cigarette-smoking monkey as their young son’s Christmas present.

RECORD numbers of Britons are passionately pretending to have marched against climate change.

SCOTLAND is taking the day off to worship its water dinosaur, it has emerged.

ALL the alcohol that was being saved for Christmas Day has been drunk, Britain has confirmed.

A SIX-YEAR-OLD is being read the Old Testament as a fairy story by her proudly atheist father.

AN office poser has taken to wearing a scarf throughout the working day, not just when outside.