Society

LIVE in a small, pretty village and bloody furious about some London bastard turning up with their kids in tow? Here’s how to let them know.

AS normal life begins to recede into the rear-view mirror, here are five new habits of lockdown well worth sticking with:

YOU’VE nodded for years, but finally you’re getting to know your neighbours. Here are five reasons why you will regret that.

ACROSS Britain, people are ranting about the bloody immigrants coming here, becoming doctors, nurses and surgeons, saving us from a pandemic.

AS Britain braces itself for the pandemic to continue, fears are growing about just how bad things could get. Here are some worst case scenarios to plan for.

ARE you calling the police to report your neighbour going out twice because you’re a good citizen or to get revenge for their dog shitting on your doorstep in 2008? Take our quiz.

JESUS has rejected claims that this is the worst ever Easter, stating that his original Easter featured a much more savage lockdown.

A WOMAN has been forced to visit A&E after her clapping in support of the NHS led to a fractured wrist.

REMEMBER REMEMBER hugs? How innocent they were? Try getting through these non-sexual examples of physical contact without getting horny.

A COUNTRY that has spent the last three-and-a-half years obsessed with freedom is absolutely fine with being locked up until May.