SURE, money is great, but midwife Eleanor Shaw and other NHS staff awarded the George Cross agree that it’s nothing compared to a notional medal. For example on these occasions:
When paying at the supermarket
Nurses’ wage not left enough to cover your grocery bill? Having to humiliatingly go through bags and put stuff back? Show the cashier the letter the Queen wrote you. Pride restored.
When paying rent
Struggling to pay rent now nursing bursaries have been cut? Inform your landlord that you have a medal for ‘acts of the greatest heroism’. His nod of recognition will be worth it.
When catching a train
Short of the fare? Explain that you have the ‘enduring thanks and heartfelt appreciation’ of the whole country and are therefore exempt. Be ready for a lengthy debate.
When claiming benefits
Entitled to universal credit because of your low pay, but facing a four-week wait for it? Mention to HMRC that, like Malta and the Royal Ulster Constabulary, you hold the George Cross. Watch them move.
When trying to prove you meet minimum income thresholds to the Home Office
Home Office threatening to deport you because your salary no longer meets their minimum income threshold? Drop in that you’re a national hero, rewarded by Her Majesty. Let them try that hostile enviroment bollocks then.
When selling your treasured possessions on eBay
Trying to scrap together enough cash for a second-hand fridge? Selling family heirlooms and other treasures off cheap? Add the George Cross to your listings. You don’t actually own a physical one but surely that doesn’t matter?
When parking at work
Sick of paying sky-high parking fees at your hospital? Especially when you get fined for overstaying your shift to save a life? Tuck a print-out of the Queen’s letter under your windscreen wipers. Because some things are worth so much more than money.
