A MAN inspired by Boris Johnson is to try to solve every problem he faces today with nothing more than sheer optimism.
Nathan Muir has decided that, since optimism can solve trade negotiations, overcome parliamentary opposition and put a man on the moon, it can probably perform similar miracles in everyday life.
He said: “Slept in this morning. I’m still gonna make it to work on time. You know why? Looking on the bright side mate.
“Then, undaunted by my verbal warning for lateness, I beat the recurring problem of low sales by telling everyone it’d be fine. Better than fine. Brilliant.
“After that I had three pints at lunch – who says it impairs my ability to work? Glass half-empty types – I told Rachel in accounts that she should join me and my girlfriend for a threesome, and that she’d love it. Because I really believe she would.
“Technically fired, I made my way home knowing I’ll be welcomed back with a promotion tomorrow, only to find Rachel told my girlfriend. Still, what a marvellous night to sleep on the street with all my things.”
Brexiter Tom Logan said: “Well it’s obvious where he went wrong. Not optimistic enough.”