Science & Technology

BRITAIN'S poor standards in maths are costing the economy a flabillion and one every year, a new report suggests.

SCIENTISTS who accidentally drilled into a magma chamber under a volcano in Hawaii have broken the planet, it was confirmed last night.

MICROSOFT is to launch a range a range of branded t-shirts that need to be constantly updated, it was announced last night.

WOMEN'S anti-ageing face creams contain up to 98% bullshit, according to a new study.

APPLE has been forced to withdraw its latest iPhone advert because it exaggerates how busy you are and how significant your life is.

THE medical profession faces a new ethical dilemma after scientists raised the prospect of stem cells being used for tomfoolery and high-jinks.

TEENAGE boys are nothing more than younger versions of men, new research suggests. 

MEN'S reactions to anything involving women are astonishingly easy to predict, new research suggests.

THE new F22 Raptor stealth fighter can now store up to 25,000 songs and features a class leading 6.2 megapixel camera, built-in. 

PEOPLE worried that the world’s biggest physics experiment could destroy the earth were last night reassured that only Switzerland will be obliterated.