A NEW dating app is cutting out the middleman by allowing male users to post a picture of their knob as their profile photo.
DickPicker has been launched to help single women save time by being immediately confronted with an unsolicited photo of a penis, rather than pissing about chatting first.
CEO Julian Cook said: “Thanks to the app, women will no longer have to waste precious hours trading pleasant messages and getting their hopes up that they might have finally met a guy who isn’t a total creep.
“There will be no sudden horrible realisation that the nice-looking man with a good job and a cute dog is actually a perverted weirdo desperate for her to get a glimpse of his sad little penis. With us, the cocks are front and centre.”
Resigned singleton Nikki Hollis said: “I was so sick of being disappointed by the woeful behaviour of men on previous dating apps. At least this way my expectations are already in the gutter.
“When I open the app I’m already mentally prepared, as I know that I’m about to be greeted by a kaleidoscope of poorly-lit flaccid cocks. And then I can glumly set about deciding which of their owners would make the least shit husband. Isn’t romance wonderful?”