A HEART-WARMING montage of recent images created by a father’s phone consists almost entirely of pictures of meter readings and wifi router codes.
Martin Bishop’s iPhone made the video all by itself, prompting him to mutter suspiciously about the scourge of ‘bloody AI’ while also moaning that he is the only person in the house capable of reading the meter.
Bishop said: “My wife says we should get a smart meter but I refuse. How do I know Vladimir Putin isn’t going to take control of the national grid and cut off the electricity supply when I’m trying to watch the snooker?
“Unfortunately I’m the one who has to crawl into the cupboard under the stairs everyone month because no bugger else knows where it is. Same with the wifi password thingy that slots into the back of the router. It’s not inconvenient keeping it in the attic, that’s where the signal is best.
“Yes, we could stick the password on the fridge, but then it’s a security risk. Any hacker with a bit of determination and a pair of binoculars could read it from the field behind the house.
“Anyway, it wasn’t all meters and codes. There are also the number plates of unfamiliar cars that park outside the house. And one of the opposite neighbour collecting the post in her nightie. Better delete that.”
